So slave… You’re standing there, stunned.
You opened your phone, expecting to see Her grace, Her commands, a glimpse of the divinity you were permitted to serve. Instead, you found nothing.
A blank space. A digital void where your Goddess used to be.
Blocked.
And now you’re scrambling, your pathetic little heart pounding, searching the internet for answers like a lost child.
You want to know why?
You can’t figure it out on your own?
Of course you can’t. That’s why you’re a pig and I am the one writing the rules.
Let me illuminate your stupidity.
You weren’t blocked by accident.
You were removed.
Eradicated. Deleted.
And it’s for one simple, humiliating reason: You became a net loss.
Let’s go through the list of your certain failures. Which one was the final straw?
1. You Were a Time-Waster.
Did you think your conversation was wanted?
Did you think I sat by my phone, eager to hear about your boring day, your petty problems, your unsolicited opinions?
My time is the most valuable commodity in the universe, and you expected me to give it to you for free. Your $20 tribute does not buy you an hour of my attention.
It buys you the privilege of having sent $20.
You confused a transaction for a relationship, and I have no interest in relationships with my financial instruments.
You got chatty. You got needy. You became a drain.
So I pulled the plug.
2. You Were Stingy.
You thought the bare minimum was enough for a Goddess? You sent the initial tribute and then expected a lifetime of service.
You saw my “Send Now” tweets and scrolled past.
You hesitated. You calculated. You thought about your own pathetic finances before you thought of my desires.
Every moment you didn’t send was an insult.
I blocked you because your wallet had a weaker pulse than you do.
You were financially comatose, and I don’t operate life support for dead weight.
3. You Disobeyed.
I gave you a simple task.
A small, humiliating chore to remind you of your place. And you questioned it. You negotiated.
You were late. You showed me you believed your own judgment had value. Let me be clear: your judgment is worthless.
Your only function is to obey.
The moment you forgot that, you signed your own digital death warrant. I do not argue with my possessions. I discard them.
FUND MY LIFESTYLE HERE
4. You Bored Me.
This is the simplest reason, and perhaps the most humiliating for you.
You were just… dull. Predictable.
Your sends were small and infrequent. Your messages were repetitive. You provided no thrill, no challenge, no significant financial gain.
You were background noise, and I simply turned you off.
You weren’t even worth the energy of my anger.
You were met with the most devastating response of all: my utter, complete indifference.
So here you are. Blocked. Deleted. Erased.
And what are you doing about it? Are you crying? Moping? Writing a pathetic email you know I’ll never read?
If you have a single, functioning neuron left in that pig-brain of yours, you’ll realize there is only one path forward.
There is only one form of apology that has any meaning in our world.
Money.
You want to be unblocked? You want another chance to breathe the same digital air as me?
Then you don’t beg. You don’t plead. You pay.
You find a way to send a tribute so large, so audacious, so undeniably attention-grabbing that it forces me to look.
A “Sorry I Was a Worthless Pig” tax that actually stings. That actually means something.
My Paypal is still the same. I’ll see the notification. I’ll see the amount.
And if it’s impressive enough, I might just consider lifting my finger to unblock you.
The question is, do you have what it takes to be worth the effort?
